Monday, September 21, 2009

I can't punctuate for shit

I was watching Canada's Super Speller and realized that I am an amazing speller. I was holding my own with most of the contestants on the show. My elated sense of myself was brutally cut down to size when I read my last blog entry and discovered my literary liability that cut my celebration of my skills short. I did not punctuate "friend's" appropriately. I could not fathom how the evidence that I was a fucking AHMAZEENG spellar could be juxtaposed with the horrendous truth that my punctuation sucked Buffalo buffalo balls.
I guess I always struggled with punctuation and paid it no heed because of my dear friend SpellCheck. Where the average person gets a large number of words underlined in red I, on the other hand, receive tremendous amounts of green.
It is a hardship that I must endure on my own, just as blind people persevere despite their disability. I guess each person is born with some type of fault and I guess mine is not being able to punctuate correctly .

I suck at punctuating. It feels so liberating to say.

Friday, September 18, 2009

It's Too Early To Be Thinking About This

The creation of the universe was a highly unlikely event. I think everyone agrees with that statement and there is not a lot of ground to refute it because no one was around before the creation of the universe (except for my friend Steve Omnitron). A question I have pondered often is, "Why don't new universes spontaneously form in the middle of my living room during afternoon tea?" It's a tough question. One would assume that since the universe has existed for so long it would be probable that an improbable event would occur again. Right? Wrong? RightWrong?
However, I just got on a thought train after reading my Introduction to Quantum Chemistry book and perusing Physics Forums I have come to a new realization: with all the improbable events that occur in an atomic system, perhaps the universe gets it's "quota" of improbability and the need for a new universe to be created is quelled for another billion billion years.
I mean, if there is a node in between two s-orbitals and in that node there is 0 probability of finding an electron and there is an electron in one s-orbital and it wants to get to the other, how does the electron get to the other s-orbital? It happens. But how? How does the electron pass through a region where there is no probability of finding it?
It's like saying you need to get from your house on one side of a cliff to your friends' house on the other side and you get to your friend's house even though the FUCKING BRIDGE IS GONE.

Now I know you are going to say that it's just tunneling that occurs but that makes no damn sense and seems so improbable.

But there seems to be so much shit going on in the bottom that is just ludicrous and confusing. So much that the Universe goes, "Okay, that's enough retarded shit for today" (the Universe's words, not mine). And it's all this wacky business that prevents another Big Bang from occurring between two fat people as they make love for the first time in the backseat of a Chevy pickup in the parking lot of a McDonald's in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon (this event itself is not very uncommon. If you don't believe me, I suggest you watch Maury and my point will be made)

I know that I am excluding a lot of math and critical thinking that is the very foundation of modern physics but fuck it, this stuff is fun to think about without "reality" telling me I'm a moron for ignoring probability calculations and not carrying the 1.

The only problem is that when I try and do the math (by "do" I mean "read" and by "read" I mean "look at" and by "look at" I mean "not look at") my brain hurts. And when my brain hurts I end up playing video games. Maybe I should just cut out the middle man, and so should all of you.
Hey, I think Maury's on.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Mighty Mighty Boss - Someday I supposed

I just recently added all of my music from my desktop to my laptop. All the music I had on my laptop had been accurate in the sense that all the songs were properly labelled. The title, the artist, the album, everything, was correct. I knew exactly what was going on in my playlist. But ever since I moved home and added all the songs that I had been meaning to add, my playlist is no longer the pinnacle of organizational splendor that it once was.
Now my music lies in disarray like it was so many years ago during undergrad. However, then it didn't seem to matter because it felt like disorganization and spontaneity were the keystones of that era. Now that I am home I keep struggling to correct all the mistakes in the "info" for each song I have but it seems like an Everest of a task. Each time I try to accurately label each song I am reminded at what an arduous task it is and I keep thinking that I could be doing better things with my time. I keep feeling like I should have addressed this issue years ago and then I wouldn't have to deal with it now. But it still lies in front of me.

2610 Songs. 6.8 Days.

How long will it take? When will they all finally be corrected and organized?
When will my playlist finally have some semblance of order?

I usually buy all my music off of iTunes, so they come to my computer in an ordered state. I have faith in the assumption that at some point in the future my playlist will be what it is supposed to be: a completely self-sufficient list that is easily navigated by others and has a solid structural foundation of music. It's just right now that provides the doubt that it will be like this forever. Full of cobwebs, confusion, multiples of the same song and spelling errors in the song titles.

On the 6.8th day the list was complete and he saw that it was good.

Can I hope for this much? Or will there always be empty spaces in the Album section, misspelled Names and erroneous Artists?