Thursday, June 4, 2009

Gimme a job (the money kind, not blow, hand, foot, sandwich, oyster, gerbil, nose OR Hand with a capital H)

I've been trying to find a job for a while now and its getting pretty tedious so I am toying with the option of:

Returning to work at a certain electronics retailer.

Initially it was my first choice but was met by harsh criticism and even some death threats from critics. I don't see what's so wrong with the place but perhaps I am missing something. So lets do this thing analytically by weighing the pro's and con's.

1. I've already worked there so there is a higher probability that I will be able to obtain employment unlike my applications to Costco and Blockbuster. Yeah, that's right. Two degrees can't get me a job that the companies want to pay monkeys to do because its so easy (the legislation is still getting passed on that). GAWD.

2. Discounts on electronics. I have been meaning to get some kind of gaming console since Rebecca lives like a grown up and has no device for entertaining persons who are yet to achieve maturity. What's that you say? I have a computer and can just play vids on there?
I would rather die. Not being dramatic, just honest. Although Bex does have a mouse so I wouldn't be limited to a mousepad.............okay so the jury is still out on that one.

3. Easy. The most I have to think at this job when I have a problem is what manager to call. Critical thinking out the window and hello conformist, hivemind-like, corporate, assimilating type thinking (thinking is used loosely here). Not too berate or take away from the ability to be promoted in that company or insult the people I know and still talk to who still work there BUUUUT its easy work. 
Fulfilling? No. 
Soul-crushing? Sometimes. 
Supporting the consumerist mentality by selling average people shit that they don't really need? You bet. 
A job that has higher officials that take the job way too seriously? Definitely. 
A job that when I make a mistake, I feel bad about it and try and perfect my work so as to not make that same mistake again? Not really.
Easy? Yes. 

1. There are none

So I think that I will go ahead and put out an application, who knows, I probably won't get it and be stuck in job limbo for a little while longer. 

Although I have been tutoring and it has reminded me of what a joke biology is. A bad one that promotes the teaching of incorrect chemical concepts. Stick to poo, monkeys and Darwin (which are all connected anyways, each for different reasons) biology and leave the real science to the other, superior disciplines like women's studies. Oh wait, I meant to say Chemicology, the study of chemicals. Yes, stick to studying "bio" and leave the real brunt of science to the scienticians of chemicology; with their abaci of doom and their pocket protectors of chastity.

With all this knowledge of chemicology and teachingology you'd think I could AT LEAST get a job at Blockbuster. I guess I will just have to start performing various odd-hand jobs to get some money priming poles or waxing wood or stuff like that.

If you want to send me money please feel free to do so! Stop being such a cheap bastard! 

1 comment:

  1. I'll give you 20000$ everytime you 'take care' of the person whose profile you'll find in a manilla envelope taped to the bottom of the park bench.

    By take care, I mean serve cranberry juice and read stories.