It's Too Early To Be Thinking About This

The creation of the universe was a highly unlikely event. I think everyone agrees with that statement and there is not a lot of ground to refute it because no one was around before the creation of the universe (except for my friend Steve Omnitron). A question I have pondered often is, "Why don't new universes spontaneously form in the middle of my living room during afternoon tea?" It's a tough question. One would assume that since the universe has existed for so long it would be probable that an improbable event would occur again. Right? Wrong? RightWrong?

However, I just got on a thought train after reading my Introduction to Quantum Chemistry book and perusing Physics Forums I have come to a new realization: with all the improbable events that occur in an atomic system, perhaps the universe gets it's "quota" of improbability and the need for a new universe to be created is quelled for another billion billion years.

I mean, if there is a node in between two s-orbitals and in that node there is 0 probability of finding an electron and there is an electron in one s-orbital and it wants to get to the other, how does the electron get to the other s-orbital? It happens. But how? How does the electron pass through a region where there is no probability of finding it?

It's like saying you need to get from your house on one side of a cliff to your friends' house on the other side and you get to your friend's house even though the FUCKING BRIDGE IS GONE.

Now I know you are going to say that it's just tunneling that occurs but that makes no damn sense and seems so improbable.

But there seems to be so much shit going on in the bottom that is just ludicrous and confusing. So much that the Universe goes, "Okay, that's enough retarded shit for today" (the Universe's words, not mine). And it's all this wacky business that prevents another Big Bang from occurring between two fat people as they make love for the first time in the backseat of a Chevy pickup in the parking lot of a McDonald's in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon (this event itself is not very uncommon. If you don't believe me, I suggest you watch Maury and my point will be made)

I know that I am excluding a lot of math and critical thinking that is the very foundation of modern physics but fuck it, this stuff is fun to think about without "reality" telling me I'm a moron for ignoring probability calculations and not carrying the 1.

The only problem is that when I try and do the math (by "do" I mean "read" and by "read" I mean "look at" and by "look at" I mean "not look at") my brain hurts. And when my brain hurts I end up playing video games. Maybe I should just cut out the middle man, and so should all of you.

Hey, I think Maury's on.

Mighty Mighty Boss - Someday I supposed

I just recently added all of my music from my desktop to my laptop. All the music I had on my laptop had been accurate in the sense that all the songs were properly labelled. The title, the artist, the album, everything, was correct. I knew exactly what was going on in my playlist. But ever since I moved home and added all the songs that I had been meaning to add, my playlist is no longer the pinnacle of organizational splendor that it once was.

Now my music lies in disarray like it was so many years ago during undergrad. However, then it didn't seem to matter because it felt like disorganization and spontaneity were the keystones of that era. Now that I am home I keep struggling to correct all the mistakes in the "info" for each song I have but it seems like an Everest of a task. Each time I try to accurately label each song I am reminded at what an arduous task it is and I keep thinking that I could be doing better things with my time. I keep feeling like I should have addressed this issue years ago and then I wouldn't have to deal with it now. But it still lies in front of me.

2610 Songs. 6.8 Days.

How long will it take? When will they all finally be corrected and organized?

When will my playlist finally have some semblance of order?

I usually buy all my music off of iTunes, so they come to my computer in an ordered state. I have faith in the assumption that at some point in the future my playlist will be what it is supposed to be: a completely self-sufficient list that is easily navigated by others and has a solid structural foundation of music. It's just right now that provides the doubt that it will be like this forever. Full of cobwebs, confusion, multiples of the same song and spelling errors in the song titles.

On the 6.8th day the list was complete and he saw that it was good.

Can I hope for this much? Or will there always be empty spaces in the Album section, misspelled Names and erroneous Artists?

Dr. Livingstone is trapped in my backyard

Holy shit, I came home after 4 months out West and my backyard looked like it had been uprooted from the Amazon. It's not as bad as it was a couple years ago but this time there is more than just grass. It is overrun by weeds of all varieties and that attracts a plethora of various insects. I walked in my backyard to get to the barbeque and a swarm of grasshoppers flew around my legs and it felt like I had just stepped into a fast moving stream of water. And then, after all the grasshoppers had departed, I noticed that there were an abnormal amount of wasps hanging around in the grass. After my run-in with a wasp a couple of months ago I was immediately terrified of being in or around my backyard. Memories of when I was young and feared the outdoors for its vastness, its vacuousness, the way it appeared endless and also for its abundance of natural sunlight (it makes me feel dirty). But now I fear my outdoor living quarters that border my indoor living quarters for extra reasons than those accumulated in my youth. I fear the jungle that has become my backyard. What am I to do? Shall I face the jungle? Lawnmower in tow, am I to do to my yard what big business has been doing to the rain forest for the past decade? How could I be sure that mother nature would not strike me down with a cascade of wasp stings that would immobilize me and then my grisly demise would be realized by the millions of tiny mouths of grasshoppers as they slowly devoured me.

I would need to wear armor but that could lead to dehydration at the hands of the mighty Solar Orb. It is truly one man against the world. But I must persevere. I must tackle the yard with water bottle at the ready, lawnmower revved, long sleeved shirt and long pants wrapped around my body and I must have my rage just below the boiling point. The rage would need to be called upon at a moments notice so that my system could be flooded with adrenaline should a renegade wasp manage to break my defenses.

It will be me.

The sun will burn.

The wind will be still.

Nature will crave blood.

I will be standing in front of the green abyss.

I will reach into the heart of the dense jungle that has enslaved my backyard.

I will grab hold of the dark heart.

I will mourn the lost explorers that have fallen at the hands of the thicket.

I breathe.

I will breathe.

Then with motor and blade I will tear the dense, tangled heart of the jungle out from its core and restore my yard to its former glory as my outdoor living quarters.

So I've been hanging out with kids a lot lately but not many of them speak English very well. So they don't understand all the variations of dirty things that I whisper to them. They just smile and say, "Teacher you are so funny". But seriously it's fun work. I basically help out with the administration of an ESL school youth program. Kids' ages range from 10 to 18 so it's a fun mix of ages and personalities. A large part of the job is just talking to kids and making sure they are having fun and I get paid to with them on activities. I got payed to go to Whistler on a field trip and all I did was see the Whistler sights, eat and have fun. There were no issues involving any kind of behaviour. All the kids are super nice. So I got a paid vacation.

Scwhing.

The only downside is that I never fully realized just how weird it is to sit in a group of people who are talking and laughing and not being able to be a part of it. Whenever I ask them to explain jokes it's always

"He...say.....that, uh........my seester.........have...the loung hair" (some words spelled phonetically to help provide generic accent)

Brutal.

And whenever I tell a joke it's always met with silence and awkwardness. I haven't had this many blank stares since I worked at the morgue.

That is pretty much the only downside and I can't really complain. The job was super busy in July because that was when we had the most students but they have all since gone home and we went from 110 or so to about 37. Big difference. There is a lot less gibberish being screamed with my name being yelled occasionally and always immediately followed by raucous laughter.

So yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm coming back to Ontario at the end of August so I guess I will need to disband the blog because it's no longer on the West Coast but we'll see if the Blog Police catch me.

Fun fact: Brazil is actually a developing nation and has quite a good economy. Most of the slums there have been eliminated by specialized housing projects. I have heard many good things about it and it is supposed to be very beautiful and quite safe. So yeah, maybe you should look into it with a more reliable source than a rich, Brazilian 16 year old but I think you'll be hard pressed to find a better source or a better [REST OF TEXT OMITTED DUE TO INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT FLAG]